How I see It

Posts tagged ‘God’

In Tough Moments, Remember…

Dear Future Husband,

This letter is not for all the good times we’ll have (an endless life of beauty, bliss and love unending is quite guaranteed in Jesus). This letter is for the times when our love seems to be fading away under the duress of life’s pressures. This is a reminder of our LOVE. Four things:

  1. We’re still the same people: We used to do weird alien sounds and laugh at each other’s silliness. I’d call you nicknames you absolutely abhorred, yet answered to. You’d poke or pinch me for no reason just because my irritation made you laugh. We’d both watch stupid videos on Facebook, lean back our chairs in that Hyundei you so loved, laughing our lungs out. Let’s laugh through this too. I still like singing, dancing, talking too much and holding your hand while we drive to the grocery store together. You still laugh at my silliness and slap my behind when I get out of your car. You still like to tease me about my dancing skills (which I think are pretty descent).  Let’s never stop being us and if we grow, let’s grow together.
  2. I LOVE YOU: I’m a strong believer that love will always be enough. Why? Because with love, no sacrifice is too great to make. I love you, I always will.
  3. I looked damn good in my wedding dress and my-oh-my, were you just a sight to behold in that suit!: Look at our wedding photo resting ever so beautifully (in whatever part of our home we decided to hang it)! Don’t we just look so happy and so blessed and so dang good?
  4. God has our backs, ALWAYS: In Him, we have our life and happiness. We’ve trusted him to love us through our life, let’s not stop now.

So, dear husband, whether I like you today or you don’t like me tomorrow, I know you’ll always love me and I’ll always love you. I know God’s love for us both will never waver and neither should our love for each other. If he blessed us with each other, why insult his blessing? We are forever!

With immense love,
You dearest future wife.

Life Cycle of Rightoeusness

I’m sure you’re like me and you have those moments when you’re absolutely convinced that you can be the best version of yourself and achieve whatever seemingly impossible feat you dream about. That you can be righteous – to the fullest, and be the beacon of light that shines through in moments of severe temptation. That your Holy Spirit never diminishes. That all who see you see grace and strength beyond measure. It’s almost like the holy ghost surrounds you in an unmistakable halo that transcends any possibility for unrighteousness.

Yet, you sometimes consciously choose vice over virtue like you’re just tired of not living in the world, even just for a moment. Sometimes it’s just easier to lie your way out of a problem, or decide it’s okay to succumb to his or her touch just this one time. Christians would understand what I mean. I’m talking about those times when your desires trick you into thinking, no, BELIEVING that you need to just be human and save your arse any way you can, forgetting what consequences wait ahead.

When you’ve consciously fallen to your vices, the guilt seeps in almost immediately, a smirk on her face because she knew all along that you’d falter. And now you wish you’d listened to that nagging voice in your head that kept telling you to think of this particular moment of regret. So you whine and pine because that’s all you can do. You question why God lets you fall so far down, or why His Spirit and Grace leave you ever so often.

And after you’ve beaten yourself up and wallowed in the deepest pit of self pity, you start to make peace with your past and hope for stronger morality. You hope that next time you’ll actually adhere to the warnings of that oh-so-righteous conscience, and skip this cycle of self degrading hatred. You tell yourself God loves you anyway, and you work at climbing out of your self-dug pit.

But then your humanity gets in the way and suddenly you’re taunted with every possible possibility to fall in to your vices again. So you fervently pray every waking moment, for the strength it takes to overcome.

I’ll leave the end to you, because whether or not you overcome is up to you. Will you fall again, or will you triumph over the things that are not of God?

You and I, We Have What It Takes.

righteousness

Spiritual Breakthrough

Breakthrough

Last week I decided to finally do something I’ve pondered and mulled over for at least half a dozen years, but never mustered courage to go through with it. I decided to fast and pray.

fastingI’ve coasted through most of my teenage and young adult life, not really knowing God. Don’t get the wrong idea; I have been a christian, but only in title and rarely in practice. I never really sought to deepen my relationship with God or even try harder than pray a couple of times a month and go to church once in a year or two. In other words, God just wasn’t a priority in my life, except when I needed something from him.

Isn’t it amazing that despite our human nature to seek God only for favours, he still helps us and loves us unconditionally? That in itself is our small miracle each and every day, but I digress.

Like I was saying, I decided to fast and pray 12 hours a day, for a week. Why? Well, true to nature, I needed something from the man upstairs. I needed him to bless me with a few things I’d rather not name in this blog.

I couldn’t eat or drink anything from six a.m, to six p.m. everyday. While those were some of the most excruciating hours of my life, I felt the closest I’ve been to God in a long time.

Many times I found myself fantasizing about a mouth-watering steak dinner, feeling hungrier by the minute. I would imagine how much face stuffing awaited me, how my stomach would magically surpass its natural elasticity to accommodate enough food to last for the entire next day. Yet the clock literally crawled through every second. Everyone at work seemed to think that was the best time to ask me if I wanted anything to eat from the store. My stomach made growling sounds loud enough that I’m sure our Canadian counterparts across the border heard. I never thought that week would end.

In those moments, I reminded myself of why I was giving up my comfort and what I stood 27232772717193915_uszqkn87_fto gain. I said several payers for grace and strength, peace, love, family, and so much more. I read scripture after scripture on morality and living in Christ. I started to look beyond myself and to see God in others. I found myself making efforts to be slow to anger and rich in mercy, to love and live the golden rule the best way I can. P.S. It’s not quite an easy thing to do, I’m learning that now. But faith the size of a mustard seed, Jesus says, can move a mountain (Matthew Chapter 17, Verse 20). I believe.

That was my breakthrough, my miracle.

And now that I’ve felt the Spirit work in me and the hand of God touch me, I want more.

Breakthrough Dream

 

I had a dream last night. I think it meant something.

Enter dreamland…

I’m driving home from work on a Friday afternoon. There’s been a storm warning which because of the sheer stubbornness in me, I decide to ignore.

I drive my way through Southeast D.C without a hiccup. The clouds are gathering; dark clouds that cover the skies in nothing but a deep  somber grey. The sun is buried so far behind these large blobs of condensed water. It’s almost like we’ve seen its last ray.

I approach the John Phillip Sousa Bridge that crosses the Anacostia River.

John Phillip Sousa Bridge Southeast D.C

Now, the fog is so thick like tons of dirty grey cotton just sitting in the atmosphere. I find myself wishing I had a large pair of scissors and a miracle so I could cut through the cloudiness and find the other end of the bridge.

The winds are hurling at unbelievably high speeds, pushing back anyone who tries to defy the angry elements.

Feeling defiant, I press down on my accelerator in an attempt to brave the force of the wind. I’m barely a quarter of the way into the bridge when I realize that my Toyota Highlander Sport is the only car on the road in either direction. What are you thinking Gabriella? I turn around and drive back. Too late!

N.B: Because this is a dream, events may or may not be completely sensible.

Next thing I know, I’m several feet in the air, no car anywhere in sight, screaming my way down as I fall.

I get an areal view of the surface that awaits my landing. I can see the demarcation of the river and it’s banks. At this point, I’m hoping I’ve done enough good in my life to warrant a place in heaven. I cannot swim.

By some miracle, I land on the soft grounds by the river. It seems like a calculated landing, something straight out of a comic book, a super landing – if you will.

Humming a sweet tune, I peruse my surroundings to see how far away from the water I am. I missed the deep end by only a few feet. The pieces of land around the river bank have fresh farm produce, sprouting from the fertile soil.

The storm has disappeared. All is calm, and the sun is even peeking through from behind the slowly brightening clouds.

I approach a farmer and ask for the way back to the city.

“With a voice like yours, you should be going that way”, he says and points in the direction of a tiny road leading out of the cultivated land. I smile, wave and follow the single file of people heading the same way.

I had been humming this song:

Lauren Daigle performing How Can It Be

You plead my cause,
You right my wrong,
You Break my chains,
You overcome,

You gave your life,
To give me mine,

You say that I am free,
How can it be.

…Exit dreamland.

The song I was sin gong is a gospel song called How Can It Be by Lauren Daigle. It testifies to the amazing nature of God and his forgiviness. It fits perfectly. I’ve just been miraculously rescued by God, from what could have been a horrendous accident that ended my life (In the dream). What did I do to deserve saving? I am only a scarred, sinful human.

I recounted this dream to a close friend of mine to which he responded;

“You should be happy. I think you will have a breakthrough. If I were to interpret that dream I would say you were going through something and God saw to amend your situation in your favor.”

I believe.
I accept.
I receive.

-GaBriElla