How I see It

Posts tagged ‘Christianity’

Life Cycle of Rightoeusness

I’m sure you’re like me and you have those moments when you’re absolutely convinced that you can be the best version of yourself and achieve whatever seemingly impossible feat you dream about. That you can be righteous – to the fullest, and be the beacon of light that shines through in moments of severe temptation. That your Holy Spirit never diminishes. That all who see you see grace and strength beyond measure. It’s almost like the holy ghost surrounds you in an unmistakable halo that transcends any possibility for unrighteousness.

Yet, you sometimes consciously choose vice over virtue like you’re just tired of not living in the world, even just for a moment. Sometimes it’s just easier to lie your way out of a problem, or decide it’s okay to succumb to his or her touch just this one time. Christians would understand what I mean. I’m talking about those times when your desires trick you into thinking, no, BELIEVING that you need to just be human and save your arse any way you can, forgetting what consequences wait ahead.

When you’ve consciously fallen to your vices, the guilt seeps in almost immediately, a smirk on her face because she knew all along that you’d falter. And now you wish you’d listened to that nagging voice in your head that kept telling you to think of this particular moment of regret. So you whine and pine because that’s all you can do. You question why God lets you fall so far down, or why His Spirit and Grace leave you ever so often.

And after you’ve beaten yourself up and wallowed in the deepest pit of self pity, you start to make peace with your past and hope for stronger morality. You hope that next time you’ll actually adhere to the warnings of that oh-so-righteous conscience, and skip this cycle of self degrading hatred. You tell yourself God loves you anyway, and you work at climbing out of your self-dug pit.

But then your humanity gets in the way and suddenly you’re taunted with every possible possibility to fall in to your vices again. So you fervently pray every waking moment, for the strength it takes to overcome.

I’ll leave the end to you, because whether or not you overcome is up to you. Will you fall again, or will you triumph over the things that are not of God?

You and I, We Have What It Takes.

righteousness

Spiritual Breakthrough

Breakthrough

Last week I decided to finally do something I’ve pondered and mulled over for at least half a dozen years, but never mustered courage to go through with it. I decided to fast and pray.

fastingI’ve coasted through most of my teenage and young adult life, not really knowing God. Don’t get the wrong idea; I have been a christian, but only in title and rarely in practice. I never really sought to deepen my relationship with God or even try harder than pray a couple of times a month and go to church once in a year or two. In other words, God just wasn’t a priority in my life, except when I needed something from him.

Isn’t it amazing that despite our human nature to seek God only for favours, he still helps us and loves us unconditionally? That in itself is our small miracle each and every day, but I digress.

Like I was saying, I decided to fast and pray 12 hours a day, for a week. Why? Well, true to nature, I needed something from the man upstairs. I needed him to bless me with a few things I’d rather not name in this blog.

I couldn’t eat or drink anything from six a.m, to six p.m. everyday. While those were some of the most excruciating hours of my life, I felt the closest I’ve been to God in a long time.

Many times I found myself fantasizing about a mouth-watering steak dinner, feeling hungrier by the minute. I would imagine how much face stuffing awaited me, how my stomach would magically surpass its natural elasticity to accommodate enough food to last for the entire next day. Yet the clock literally crawled through every second. Everyone at work seemed to think that was the best time to ask me if I wanted anything to eat from the store. My stomach made growling sounds loud enough that I’m sure our Canadian counterparts across the border heard. I never thought that week would end.

In those moments, I reminded myself of why I was giving up my comfort and what I stood 27232772717193915_uszqkn87_fto gain. I said several payers for grace and strength, peace, love, family, and so much more. I read scripture after scripture on morality and living in Christ. I started to look beyond myself and to see God in others. I found myself making efforts to be slow to anger and rich in mercy, to love and live the golden rule the best way I can. P.S. It’s not quite an easy thing to do, I’m learning that now. But faith the size of a mustard seed, Jesus says, can move a mountain (Matthew Chapter 17, Verse 20). I believe.

That was my breakthrough, my miracle.

And now that I’ve felt the Spirit work in me and the hand of God touch me, I want more.